"From Wandering Wombs to Carnivorous Plant Fear: Debunking the Hilariously Absurd Myths About Women’s Bodies Through the Ages"
- Diane Black
- Aug 19, 2024
- 7 min read
Myths about women's bodies
Throughout history, misconceptions about the female body have ranged from bewildering to outright bizarre. These ideas, deeply rooted in cultural, societal, and sometimes pseudo-scientific grounds, often served to reinforce stereotypes or exert control. Here’s a dive into some of the weirdest and untrue "facts" that have circulated among men about women's bodies:
myths about women's bodies
1. Wandering Womb Myths About Women’s Bodies
Ancient Greece, a place of philosophy, democracy, and... runaway wombs?
In ancient Greece, the physician Hippocrates (who's like the granddaddy of medicine) believed the womb wandered throughout a woman's body, causing various health problems.
This condition, termed "hysteria" (from "hystera," the Greek word for uterus), was thought to be particularly prevalent among unmarried women. Cue the ancient version of "You need a man to calm your wandering womb."
2. Incapable of Rational Thought During Menstruation
There was a widespread belief (even lasting into the 20th century in some places) that women were essentially incapable of logical or rational thought during their menstrual cycle. This was often used as an argument against women occupying positions of power or responsibility.
I mean, sure, sometimes I struggle to remember if I’m Netflix and chilling or just Netflix and bleeding, but that's not the same! They actually used this as an excuse to keep women out of the boardroom because, you know, once a month we might be more likely to solve conflicts with a tampon duel. Honestly, though, if you can handle a conference call while silently praying your pad doesn't look like a crime scene, you're as rational as they come.
3. Toothache During Pregnancy Indicates a Girl
Alright, medieval moms-to-be, forget ultrasound or peeing on a stick for that gender reveal. Got a toothache? Boom, it's a girl, because apparently, she's in there like, "Sorry, mom, I'll need that calcium for my cheekbones." Can we all just have a moment for those poor medieval women who were just experiencing the joys of pregnancy gingivitis while their neighbors nodded knowingly, "Ah, it's a mini-her stealing your hotness!"
4. Too Much Education Hurts Fertility
In the 19th and early 20th centuries, it was a common belief that too much intellectual activity could hinder a woman's reproductive capabilities. Meaning that cramming for exams equals an empty baby carriage. The idea was that intensive study redirected blood away from the uterus to the brain, adversely affecting fertility.
I mean, why pursue a Ph.D. when you could be populating the earth? Modern science says "nah," but can you imagine the pick-up lines? "Hey girl, ditch that astrophysics lecture, and let's focus on basic anatomy. (I'm sorry, please don't hate me for that joke)
5. Cold Uterus
"Baby, It's Cold Inside."
This idea was part of medieval medicine. If your uterus was just not up for visitors, it was clearly too chilly in there for the sperm to want to hang out. The cure? Slap on the uterus equivalent of a winter coat, like applying heat pads or eating hot chili peppers. 'Cause nothing says romance like telling your date you need to heat your oven before they can put the bun in.
6. Female Orgasm Was Required for Conception
The 18th and 19th centuries were wild times, my friends. Not only were corsets the rage, but they also had this gem of a belief that a woman had to climax to conceive. Now Imagine that!
Imagine a world where a woman`s orgasm was required in order to conceive; there would be no talk of overpopulation because there would probably be only eighty thousand people in the world. And let's be honest, that number might be too high.
They thought the big O worked like a vacuum cleaner for sperm. Seriously they actually thought a women's orgasm acted as a vacuum to suck up sperm.
Science was really out here giving orgasms all the credit, which, let’s be real, isn't the worst misconception. Thankfully, we've figured things out since then.
Trigger warning for this myth: it's about to get dark, and I'm lying off the humor.
This myth was often used as an excuse for when women were sexually assaulted. Meaning that if she got pregnant as a result of sexual assault, they would say she had an orgasm and, therefore, the sex was consensual. Many men in the 18th century would say a woman couldn't get pregnant from a sexual assault, but her body would be in what they called "high stress," and her body would destroy the sperm cells.
And believe it or not there are people in 2024 who still believe this myth.
Thankfully, we have scientists, gynecologists, and us women who have figured things out since then.
7. Women Have Fewer Teeth Than Men
Even Aristotle, the famed Greek philosopher, espoused this odd belief. Did he ever think to, you know, maybe just ask someone to open up and count? Or was it more like, "No need, fellas, trust me, I’m like, really smart"? This bit of ‘wisdom’ was a favorite for anyone looking to argue women were somehow inherently less than men. Like, whoever has the most teeth wins? Please!
8. Breast Size and Intelligence
The old "big boobs mean small brains" or vice versa trope. As ridiculous as it sounds, this myth floated around, accused of explaining everything from job qualifications to the ability to ace a test. Just imagine the looks you’d get asking a professor if your cup size is going to be on the final exam! Let's be clear: neurons and mammary glands are on entirely different payroll systems.
9. Smaller Brains Mean Lesser Intelligence
Oh, the 19th century—a time when some 'genius' scientists were convinced that women must be less intelligent because their brains were smaller. Newsflash, brainiacs: it's not the size that counts; it's how you use it! Anyway, they must have skipped the day in science class when they explained that brain size is more like shoe size—it kind of has to fit the body it's in. But sure, let's just overlook that women are busy ruling empires and inventing things… small brain, who now?
10. Exercise Could Damage Reproductive Organs
Victorian-era doctors sometimes warned that vigorous exercise could damage a woman's reproductive organs. It was believed that too much movement could displace the uterus or deplete the energy needed for it to function properly.
11. Emotions Controlled by Reproductive Organs
You’ve heard of "thinking with your stomach," right? Well, back in the olden golden days, they were all about thinking with your uterus. Apparently, it held the joystick to a woman's emotions and could throw you into "hysteria" if it wasn't kept in check. I mean, honestly? As if mood swings needed any more mystery. Thank goodness we’ve moved on to blaming Mercury in retrograde like civilized folks.
12. Reading Novels Is Harmful
In the 18th and 19th centuries, there was a fear that women reading novels could become physically ill or incite dangerous flights of fancy, leading to irrational behavior or even moral degradation. Novels were believed to overstimulate women's fragile minds.
The page-turners of yesterday were apparently way too spicy for our "fragile" minds. Picture this: "I’ve read 'Pride and Prejudice' and now I can’t be tamed!" Honestly, if that were true, can you imagine the chaos libraries would cause?
13. Sunlight and Fresh Air Could Cure PMS
In the late 19th and early 20th centuries, doctors sometimes prescribed sunlight and fresh air as a cure for premenstrual syndrome (PMS). But let’s bask in the recommendation that sunlight and fresh air are the cure-alls for PMS. It’s like a doctor looked at a woman mid-cramp and said, "Have you tried… going outside?" Sure, a bit of Vitamin D is great, but it won't magically erase the urge to eat an entire chocolate cake or the annoyance for most men on earth. Not all of them are bad.
14. Corsets Improve Health
Remember those corsets that look oh-so-snatchy in period dramas? Yeah, well, back in the day, they were basically the Spanx of yore, but with a twist—they were supposed to be health-enhancing, spine-aligning wonders. Imagine cinching yourself into something so tight that your ribs wave the white flag and your lungs play a game of "how low can you go?" They said it was for our "fragile" bodies. Fragile? Please, we handle heartbreak, wage gaps, and never finding our perfect lipstick shade. The real kicker? Fainting was so common it was practically a hobby, all thanks to being laced up tighter than a pair of fresh Jordans.
15. Infertility Caused by Ambition
Oh, this one is deliciously absurd. A world where chasing your dreams and career goals is the arch-nemesis of your ovaries. That’s right; your ambition was apparently doing an "Avada Kedavra" on your reproductive system. "Want to be a CEO, darling? Say goodbye to your baby-making abilities!" they warned. Because, of course, your body can't possibly handle multitasking success and fertility. Newsflash: Women have been smashing goals and creating life since forever.
16. Touching Carnivorous Plants Affects Fertility
And just when you thought it couldn't get weirder, Victorian Britain throws a curveball: “Don’t touch that Venus flytrap, ladies, it might make you...infertile!” Or, I don't know, oddly sexually excited? The logic seems to be that these plants were associated with the female genitalia symbolically. Honestly, it sounds like someone just needed to chill with their botanical erotica. Let’s get one thing straight: the only thing my houseplant has affected is my ability to remember to water it.
Closing Thoughts
Navigating through these whoppers of myths is like decoding a treasure map where X marks the spot of collective eye-rolling. These myths weren’t just about misunderstanding female anatomy; they were societal attempts to keep women in check, boxed nicely into categories of fragility, docility, and domesticity. Thankfully, times are a-changing. Our quest for knowledge, backed by science and spiced with a hearty dose of skepticism, allows us to debunk these myths, one eye-roll at a time.
Comments