The Slippery History of Lubricants: From Middle Ages to Modern Day 🌶️📜

A Legacy of Lubrication History of Lubricants

The ancient civilizations laid the slippery foundation for the lubricants we use today. From olive oil to animal fats, they weren't afraid to experiment and find what worked best.

But the Middle Ages and Renaissance folks up the ante for us, so-called modern people.

And surprisingly, they were on to something.

Advances in Lube During the Middle Ages and Renaissance

You might think the Dark Ages put a damper on lube innovation, but you'd be surprised! During the Middle Ages and Renaissance, clever minds were hard at work developing new slick solutions. Olive oil remained a popular choice, but creative alchemists and herbalists began experimenting with exciting new ingredients.

Nature's Naughty Notebook

Medieval lovers would spice things up with plant-based lubes, turning to nature's bounty, whipping up slippery concoctions from:

• Aloe vera: Nature's original cooling gel

• Flaxseed: Packed with omega-3s for smooth moves

• Wild yam: A root with some seriously slippery properties

These natural options not only felt great, but some even boasted healing properties.

Resourceful Renaissance folks

Now, even during the Renaissance olive oil was still center stage; it was the if it ain't broke, don't fix it of lubes back then.

But those Shakespearean reading, drama-filled, Artistic expressing, innovators and Explorers weren't satisfied with just olive oil.

They needed drama, pizzazz, and full-on innovation! So, what did they do? Got all mad scientist with it and dove headfirst into the world of other plant-based lubes: almond oil, jojoba oil, and yep, even sesame oil. (that last one shocked me )

But do you know how hard it was for them to get their hands on that stuff? So when those fun plant-based oils weren't available, they took a page from the Egyptians and used animal fat, mainly beef fat. I'm not sure why I specified that, but there you go.

Royal Rubdowns and Aristocratic Aids

You better believe the upper crust got in on the lube action! Wealthy nobles had access to exotic imports like coconut oil and shea butter. Imagine the scandal when word got out about the Duke's

secret stash of silky smooth coconut cream!

( just a thought)

By the late Renaissance, forward-thinking physicians were even recommending lubricants to ease discomfort during intimacy.

Believe it or not, those scholarly types, with their puffy sleeves and poetic flair, were getting hip to the slip—and I'm talking about lubricants. Probably because they, themselves, were experimenting during their own horizontal tango, and if the loving was improved, why not recommend it to their beloved patients?

Total game-changer for sexy times!

Now, diving into the dusty history books to find a saucy doc's prescription on lube is a bit like looking for a needle in a haystack. A really old, historical haystack.

But let's serve up some real talk: people have been oiling their machines since the days of Cleopatra. Whether it was for a spruce up before a royal rendezvous or just to keep the chafing at bay whilst frolicking through the olive groves, humans have always been on the prowl for that smooth operator, the lube.

So the next time you reach for your favorite bedside accessory (hey, get your mind above the bed—for a second), give a little nod to the Renaissance. They may have been rocking ruffs around their necks but they were likely ahead of the curve on getting down without getting friction burns. Smooth moves, indeed! Remember, lube isn’t a modern marvel—it’s a time-honored tradition for happy humping. Keep it wet, keep it wild, and keep it historical!

The in-between

Okay, so while researching this topic, I found a gap—and I mean an abyss—regarding the usage of lube from the 16th century to the 19th century. But have no fear—I reached into that abyss and hiked around that dark forsaken place with the best lantern money could buy until I found the answer. And you wanna know what was the top choice for lube during those times?

Humanity's original, always-accessible, DIY lube . . . spit. Yes, good old spit. Gross, I know.

Now I'm not completely sure where or when the knowledge of lube so happened to, disappeared overnight. But if I had to take a wonderful guess, it was probably during the time when knights and 'noble' crusaders were too busy trading blows and causing havoc to pay any mind to the finer details of bedroom etiquette. But hey, that's just my guess.

Now, you may say, "Oh, Diane spit, that's not that bad."

Yes, yes, it was. It was as bad as you can imagine.

Let's take a trip back in memory lane, shall we? Now, if you remember, the hygiene scene back in the day wasn't. . .exactly what you'd call. . . hygiene. And oh, let's not even get started on oral hygiene—or the rather adventurous lack thereof. Seriously, if memory serves, they were leagues behind in keeping those pearly whites actually, well, white or clean.

Between tooth decay, gum diseases, and syphilis.

Saliva was filled with degusting bacteria that easily transferred to the genitals.

Gross, anyway, moving on.

The Industrial Revolution Leads to Modern Lubes

Slippery Innovations: From Factories to Bedrooms

Hold onto your hats, folks! The Industrial Revolution wasn't just about steam engines and factories—it also ushered in a whole new era of slick solutions for your intimate moments. As machines whirred to life, so did the need for better lubrication. And guess what? Those same scientific advancements soon found their way into the bedroom!

You'll be amazed to learn that the first petroleum jelly, patented in 1872, wasn't just for protecting your grandma's antique furniture. Petroleum jelly was first used for slicking up and cleaning huge, long, strong, hard pipes—not the ones your lovely dirty little mind might be thinking of, but I do like the way you think.

I'm talking about oil drilling pipes.

Petroleum jelly was first known as rod wax! Yes, you heard that right. Long before petroleum jelly found its VIP spot in our bathroom cabinets for everything from chapped lips to um, more private moisturizing needs, it was sliding its way into the world as rod wax.

But even then, once it waltzed onto the scene, our gooey friend was a do-it-all ointment for scratches and burns. But you know how it goes; one thing leads to another, and suddenly, you've got a whole new use for "Grandma’s cure-all." And a new sexy friend to bring into the bedroom.

Alright, ladies and gents, here comes the pièce de résistance, the top choice among most of us today: Enter the star of the show: KY Jelly, and trust me, it knows how to get you from A to B comfortably. But did you know this bedroom buddy actually started its life in a much less steamy setting? That’s right! Originally, KY Jelly was whipped up in 1904 as a surgical lubricant. Smooth and sterile, it was the go-to for doctors to make uncomfortable medical procedures a bit less... shall we say, eyebrow-raising?

And this is just my guess, yet again. Like those curious Renaissance docs, the doctors of the 20th century must have discovered KY`s wonderful attributes to enchant their own horizontal tango as well.

By the 1940s, the word had spread that this lube could take personal playtime and couple escapades to new, slippery heights. What had started as a way to ease the discomfort of medical examinations ironically became a treasure for enhancing comfort during those intimate examinations of our own.

Now, once this glorious discovery was made, it wasn't just thrown onto store shelves. You know, people back in the day were more timid. You had to go to your doctor to get a prescription for it. Can you imagine going to the doctor and walking out with a prescription for lube? Sounds insane today.

From maintaining medical instruments to facilitating human connections—KY Jelly has seen it all and has lived to tell the tale. And honestly, isn’t that a gloopy metaphor for the best kinds of transformations? Starting clinical and ending up... climactic! And like a good friend who’s always ready to lend a hand, KY is always slickly by your side when things need to go smoothly. Just remember, folks, a little squeeze goes a long way in making good times go great! So, cheers to KY, the lube that slid right out of the medical cabinet into the hearts (and other parts) of many! 🥂 Keep sliding, keep gliding, and always, always keep it consensual and safe!

And there you have it, a slippery ride down memory lane and through the gooey evolution of lube! From the ancient slick tricks to the transformative tweaks of the digital age, it's clear our love affair with lube isn't just about making things easier—it's about making them better. Whether you're donning the role of a Historical Hottie or a Modern Maverick in the bedroom (or honestly, anywhere else), remember: the quest for that perfect slippage is age-old and noble. So next time you find yourself reaching for that trusty tube or bottle, tip your cap to the slippery sages of yore. They paved the way for our frisky frivolities, ensuring each slide is as smooth as the last. Stay slippery, my friends, experiment safely, and let the good times roll!

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Dive into the fascinating history of lubricants, exploring their journey from ancient natural oils to the modern-day innovations enhancing our intimate experiences